Man, do I love crayons.
I went to Walmart the other night, and like any of the big box stores, they are having their annual “ZOMG! It’s Back to School and You Need All New Stuffaganza YAY!!!!”. I love school supplies. I remember well the first few days of a new school year, when the promise of newfound popularity, friends, and endless frolic was as shiny and hopeful as the brand new em-puppied Trapper Keeper and Lisa Frank folders stashed in your spanky new Jansport backpack. It usually took, on average, three to fourteen days for my new supplies, bit by bit, to disintegrate into tattered bits of plastic and paper scarcely held together by the equally shattered dreams of new social acceptance. Also, all my crayons were broken.
I think this is why, to this day, of all the school supplies one can admire and drool over in the pursuit of a vicarious thrill, crayons are the hardest for me to resist. Walmart, sensing and seeking to exploit the weakness, has 24 packs of Crayola crayons (GOTTA be Crayola…Rose Art can SUCK IT!) for a whopping 25 cents a box. Holy shit. That’s a penny a crayon! So I did what any sensible adult would do and bought eight boxes. What?! That’s two HUNDRED crayons for two hundred pennies; tell me you could have resisted. Besides, as part of my wacky, artsy, colourful, and let’s be frank, utterly childish wedding, I am going to provide colouring pages and crayons to the guests to play with during the ceremony. As a result, I have a real, legitimate reason to acquire large numbers of these little gems.
Crayons and I go way back. To this day, I get more pleasure out of the ownership in many ways than the use of them. I love getting new 96 packs and immediately putting all the colours in rainbow order, marching like flamboyant soldiers across the cardboard interior of that green and yellow box. Even now, I keep even the broken or worn out crayons that been retired in favour of a new box in a large tins for whatever cool project I can think of. There are so many things you can do with crayons. Aside the obvious, colouring books and the like, you can use them as an alternative collage medium, adding tint to homemade candles, melting into fabric or canvases to make a waxy Jackson Pollack type masterpiece…any number of awesome ideas. But when it comes down to it, part of me that is still ten years old will always be fulfilled by sitting down and carefully lining up those perfect little sticks of colour, like little gems in my own brilliant jewelbox.